#17: When a Mentor Fails You (and why it’s good)

What Seems Bad is Really Good

Everyone is human – including the mentors you have looked to and listened to for advice and guidance. Listen to this powerful exploration of what it can mean to you when this happens, and what good can be gleaned from such a disappointing experience.

Show Notes:

Mentoring relationships can last as long as one comment, or many many years.
There comes a point where the purpose of the mentoring relationship is fulfilled.
Most of the time the moving on process is gradual, and painless, other times it can be bitter.
How I felt about Bob Proctor before mentoring with him
Why the Jackrabbit Factor was born
What I wrote to Bob after we moved into our dream home and I became a best seller
So nervous, spilled his water when I gave him my book
Feeling awkward
Why we hired him
Feeling strange after an event I put on, felt like I had been hit by a truck
Sought Bob’s insight into what I was feeling
Never responded
Triggers, old fears
Found help and support from an ex-partner of Bob’s
Other factors contributed to my anger
How I feel when I am expecting
A mentor kicking you when you’re down
Turning every bad thing to our good
Stopped needing to get Bob’s approval or partnership
Recognizing when a relationship was toxic
Tables turned on me, showing me how Bob may have felt
What kind of energy do you show up with?
You don’t get what you want, you get what you are
Life responds differently when you have changed on the inside
Words are noise, vibrations never lie
Wrote a letter, but didn’t need a reply
His response – the first time he showed me his human side
A year later, his surprise birthday message
Common thread:

1 – Aspire to become greater
2 – Teacher appears
3 – Emotional attachment
4 – Learns all that was needed, but keeps wanting support
5 – Relationship becomes strained
6 – Conflict
7 – Heals and moves on, discovers
8 – Becomes leader, gets to experience other side
9 – Mutual respect established

You are responsible for you
Don’t defame
Not endorsing abuse
Look at everyone with compassion
Mentor failing by divine design, pushes us out of the tree so we can learn to fly
Sometimes the pain is what helps the separation become tolerable
Conflict means two points of view, often both valid
Sometimes it’s better to live in forgiveness than to constantly fight for justice trying to make things right, when they probably already are as right as they need to be, and that those adjustments are internal that need to take place more than internal.
Not judging people for what they do because you don’t know why they do it

Leslie Householder
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Leslie Householder

Leslie is the award-winning, best selling author of The Jackrabbit Factor: Why You Can, Hidden Treasures: Heaven's Astonishing Help With Your Money Matters, and Portal to Genius (all FREE downloads!). She aims to help you crush every challenge, achieve every goal, and vanquish every monster under your bed. Above all, Leslie is a dedicated wife and mother of seven children.
Leslie Householder
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4 thoughts on “#17: When a Mentor Fails You (and why it’s good)

  1. Leslie, The podcast, When a Mentor Fails You was so powerful for me. I randomly picked it and was unprepared for how much I needed to hear what you had to share. Thank you for your honesty and insight!

  2. Leslie, This was, to use an overused cliche: “Just what I needed to hear.” I am so grateful to you for sharing this experience. Thanks for helping me heal.

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