Talking to teens

An actual message to one of my teenagers who was complaining too much about his responsibilities:

You’re doing so well in so many areas. But it saddens me that you blame dad when you don’t feel like doing your duties.

You’re old enough to govern yourself, so govern yourself or be governed. If you were governing yourself, you would already have plans to be where you’re supposed to be, even if dad wasn’t going, and even if he wasn’t expecting you there.

Freedom isn’t about doing whatever you want, it’s about willfully choosing to do the things that keep you on track to qualify for all the blessings that heaven has to offer. Each right choice increases your freedom. Each poor choice diminishes it. And I’m not talking about “consequences” that are implemented at home. I’m talking about your agency and how you get to use it every day in how you think and what you do.

As you know, we look for every possible reason to give you as much freedom as we (in good conscience) can. When you feel more restrained than you like, I encourage you to notice how good you have it, and be grateful instead of belligerent.

Your attitude (above almost everything else) has the greatest effect on, or is one of the greatest indicators, for what direction your life is headed, for good or for bad. Please, do not grieve me, and please do not disrespect your dad. He asks so little and gives you so much. Either way, you’ll answer to God for how you honor him, and you have so little time with him left.

Make this last year you’re home be one that you have no regrets about. I love you and am so proud of how much you’ve matured. I was impressed with how hard you worked this morning and I recognize you could have put up a much bigger stink than you did. Just pay attention to how you feel when you’re doing the right things, and then notice how much better it feels when you do the right things with a cheerful heart.

It’s a choice, and it will pay you great dividends if you learn that lesson early. Good night.. if you want to talk to me about this more, let’s do it after you get a nap tomorrow.

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I felt lost

Kristi is a wife and mother of two young children, who experienced some significant changes in her life during the Mindset Mastery Program. It’s been fun to track her progress:

After Phase 1, she wrote:

“I have to admit, I’ve been so excited about everything I’m learning it’s been hard for me to pace myself. But after reading lesson 13 I understand why I need to do just that. I’m super excited about reaching my goals! THANK YOU for sharing your knowledge and experience!! From the day I read The Jackrabbit Factor to today has been such an incredible journey. I LOVE where I’m going on this journey :)”

Read about the time I didn’t respond to her question.

After completing the course, she wrote:

[Before joining the Mindset Mastery Program] I signed up for Genius Bootcamp. I expected it to be in depth learning about universal laws. I was very pleasantly surprised by how much of a spiritual experience it was for me. I came with a very specific question of how to continue my business. I received a very clear answer to quit my direct sales business. That did not make any sense to me. I wrestled with it, but knew it was the right thing to do.

For a couple months I felt lost. I didn’t understand why I needed to let go of the success I had achieved. But I soon realized I need be working with youth. So many things from my past started to make sense to me. I signed up for the Mindset Mastery Program and dived right into it.

Read the rest of her comments here.

When she submitted her application for graduation, she said:

“I’m so excited to make this official! It’s been such a great experience. Thank you so much for doing what you do!”

I asked if she had a website she would like me to share, and she replied,

“This is a terror barrier for me. I’ve been preparing myself to ‘go public’ with my business. I have only shared with close friends and family up to this point. This [program] is giving me the confidence to now share with everyone I know. I definitely have some anxiety about it, but I know it’s time to take this leap and enjoy what’s on the other side of this wall :)”

Learn more about Kristi and her business at InfluentialListeners.com

Learn more about the Mindset Mastery Program and join me now at ProsperTheFamily.com!

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To College or Not to College

Reader’s Question:

Hey Leslie, I’m a 17 year old homeschooler who loves the leadership and mastery principles you teach and study yourself. Recently, I have been faced with the choice of going to college, but don’t know what I want to study and if the opportunities I have to learn other relevant skills would be outside of college. I feel drawn to learning and pursuing my education outside of college and feel that is where God needs me, but I also have parents and close family around me telling me that I need to “have all of my bases covered, just in case.” Is following the “safe” path to make sure I have a stable future having faith?

I really love what you have written and taught! I recently purchased the 8-Week Mindset Fundamental Course. Really excited to delve deeper into the principles. 🙂

My reply:

These are really great questions. I homeschooled my kids for 9 years and my primary goal was to give them a love of learning. (Here’s an interesting summary of our experience with that.) I’ve seen this take my kids on paths that I didn’t expect them to take, but they have all been very happy chasing what they love.

I’ve seen people be successful with and without a college education, but what I tell my children is that many more doors can open to a person who does go to college. The best advice I ever heard on the topic was by Mark Twain who said to never let schooling get in the way of your education. That doesn’t mean don’t go to school, it means get what you can but always remember the purpose – learning. (I went through college without a love of learning and wish that I had been taught how to enjoy my education.)

It sounds like you were born to be a leader, and as a leader, I’d love to see you be the one with a college education who ALSO has the mindset and leadership training to really stand out.

As you know, a college education does not guarantee success, and a person can most certainly succeed without one, but your sphere of influence can be greater if you do both.

Ultimately, you’ll have to make the decision that feels right to you. I have a degree, but my husband does not. He has done relatively well for himself in spite of it (building a six-figure career), but there has been a lot of pain and frustration in the last 30 years that could have been avoided, had he just knocked it out before life got too complicated with our growing family. He recently decided he wanted to finish what he started those many years ago as a bucket-list item, but it is definitely much harder to do now.

He has always felt that he would have been more prepared for leadership, more confident in his work, more influential in his career, and would have been able to more quickly advance, if he had had his degree. In many cases it’s the difference between “easy now, hard later” vs “hard now, easy later”. He has achieved well, but it turned out to be much longer and harder than it probably needed to be.

There really is no price tag that can be put on the confidence it cost him – even if his perceived inferiority wasn’t a reality. Has he managed? Yes. Has he excelled? Yes. Does he feel like he could have done better or achieved more? Absolutely.

The nice thing nowadays is that you don’t have to do it all in 4 years, especially if the work you’re drawn to doesn’t require a degree. I have a son who has been working on his degree but takes breaks to work and/or pursue his passions, but he stays enrolled keeping at least one class going each semester that he’s on track. His primary objective is to stay out of debt and do what he feels led to do at each step of the way. Sometimes it’s led him to take a heavy load, other times its led him to do an internship in a field that really speaks to him even though it doesn’t give him college credit, and sometimes it’s led him to build his career (which is now somewhat unrelated to the degree he’s almost finished with). Still, the degree will help him be marketable in a skill that pays well, so that he is more free to pursue his passion without having to make it pay. Sometimes the passion can fade quickly when you’ve GOT to make it PAY. That has happened to me – at one point my husband left his work to help me with our business, and we had some setbacks that forced us to make the business do well, but the pressure took all the joy out of my work. My husband went back to a job and I had to take a 5 year break from my work just to restore my love for it.

Anyway, there is a wise and healthy balance for you to find. The counsel is to get as much education as you can, which doesn’t necessarily mean college, but if you’re thinking about it, the easiest time to get a college education is when you’re young. Everything else you want to learn and do will always be there, and it can be added to the good foundation you put down now. I’d advise you to listen to the counsel of your parents and others who know you. Consider it all prayerfully with an open mind, even if it doesn’t appeal to you. Then find out what God thinks about it all.

If you were a few years older, I might have different advice, but for now, this is what I would say 🙂

Just remember, saying yes to a college education doesn’t have to mean no to everything else. It can be part of the plan, especially if you choose a path that supports your overall dream. Be wise and patient. I know it may seem contradictory to the principles I teach, but we LOVE listening to Dave Ramsey at our house. He’s entertaining and keeps us from making decisions that we will regret. We’ve made enough of those that I’m much more patient now with my goals, and much more willing to build them from a solid foundation – because I’ve achieved many goals that later fell apart, or that I later regretted achieving. I’m much more willing to listen to people who are older and wiser than me now.

Hope this helps!

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Another Broken Broom

You may have heard about the time when I called the cops on the kid who broke my broom. Well, did you know that there’s another broom story that happened exactly ten years later?

Before I get into the second story, you need to know about the first one:

The first one happened before we discovered the principles of prosperity and began to consciously abide them. I had been in a relentless depression that held me in a discouraged, negative place for a very long time. On edge over money problems, I snapped when I stepped outside of our two-bedroom apartment and found my broom had been broken in half by a neighbor teen boy.

With my mindset where it was, the only thing I could think of to do was call the police. I didn’t have money to replace the broom, and I was too angry to see any alternatives. Watch here:

As you can see from the video, I tell that story to illustrate “thought frequencies.” We think at a certain level, and experience results which will always be in harmony with the way we think. If we want different results, we must learn how to think on a higher plane. Most of the time, it requires learning from someone else who already does.

If you continue to face similar problems year in and year out, you might want to consider the fact that you cannot think your way out of a problem that you (consciously or subconsciously) thought your way into—unless you think differently than you ever have before.

When you face a challenge, know this: a solution does exist. If you come up with a solution on the same thought frequency that you’ve had all along, it might not get you the results you hope for. If you cannot think of a solution at all, it is simply because you are not yet tuned in to the frequency on which the solution is broadcast through the room, even right now, as you read.

To help you understand this, think of a radio. When you turn on a radio and adjust the dial, eventually you can tune in to a broadcast and the sound becomes audible and clear. If you want a different broadcast, you adjust the dial. The radio did NOT “attract” the music; the music was already there.

Solutions to your dilemmas are also “already there”. If you cannot think of them, it is because your “receiver” is not yet “tuned” properly. Once it is, the solution comes directly to your mind with clarity as an “aha” moment, or you are led to the person or resource, which will reveal the solution to you. Your body, the tool of your mind, is a literal receiver, tuned according to its vibratory state, which is controlled by your thoughts and emotions. It’s that simple.

The first step to “tuning in” is to see yourself experiencing the relief you seek. See it in your mind’s eye, as though it were really happening to you, right now. As you build the picture in your mind and allow yourself to FEEL the success, you literally alter the vibratory state of your body—the physical tool with problem-solving capabilities that your were given at birth

Constantly entertaining the awful “what if’s” keeps your body in a vibratory state that only tunes you in to PERCEIVED solutions and ideas, which may actually keep you moving toward the disaster you’re trying so desperately to avoid.

(I suggest you stop and read that paragraph again more slowly.)

Alternatively, you’re free to dream. It’s the first step toward freedom! As you dream, you literally alter your energy-connection to things in the world around you, to begin moving all things prosperous into your life. Everything you need already exists. Prepare yourself to receive by thinking truth in spite of appearances, that life IS abundant. Prosperity abounds, and it is only an altered vibratory state away.

Now onto the second broom story:

About 10 years later, my 12 year-old son came to me and sheepishly said, “Mom, I broke your broom.”

My first thought was a flashback to the day I called the police (ten years before) because of my broken broom.

Then I smiled, because I realized that even though I didn’t really WANT to buy another one, I wasn’t worried about it. So the floor might be messy for a while. Not a big deal. So I have to get another one. I’ll get around to it; I have bigger fish to fry. I could think of a hundred ways to solve the problem now.

Same problem, but a completely different experience, because I was finally tuned in to a growing wealth of ideas and solutions.

Stress shuts the idea channels off.

…while calmness, or serenity, opens them up. Trusting God and melting into peace can literally flip the ON-switch to your inspiration receiver.

“Peace, be still” is just good advice at any level. Trust God. The degree of success you enjoy will be in direct correlation to your ability to remain calm and rely on Him through increasingly complicated challenges.

Your capacity to prosper can grow as you learn to demonstrate true serenity at each level.

In time, you’ll look back and see that what was so hard for you before is child’s play now. Whether it is the threat of foreclosure, or concern about a job interview, in 10 years you’ll probably laugh that you once worried about such things.

So get inspired by feeding your mind with higher-level ideas. It doesn’t have to be formal, just get around people who think right. Spend time with them in person, or read their books if they have some. Associate.

One of the best ways you can ‘associate’ with me and others on the same path is to join me in my MINDSET MASTERY™ Program (a 300+ page manual, 2-workbooks, 3 CDs, a DVD, and personal assistance at the midterm). Learn more about the Program here.

If you’re not ready for the more intensive 12-week experience, a good place to start is with the 8-week Mindset Fundamentals Ecourse (4 immediate downloads and 20 email lessons sent to your inbox over the next 2 months). Learn more about the Ecourse here.

Onward and upward!

Originally published Dec 30, 2007

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