#28: Parenting Principles Preview

Parenting can be hard!  So when difficult behaviors wreak havoc on the family, you might just need a few more tools in the toolbox. Finding the core principles that govern success in any area of life is absolutely key to succeeding in that area, and what you’ll find on this podcast is no exception.

This entertaining audio program will not only help parents who have small children, but also those with teenagers. It describes the parenting system that I used for many years as we raised our seven children, and it made ALL the difference!

My guest Matt Reichmann and his wife Julie raised five children while he worked in Los Angeles law enforcement. He saw countless parents lose control of their children and then look to police for help. This negative trend spurred a desire in Matt to use his experience to make a difference.

The combination of Julie’s home skills and Matt’s law enforcement experience gave them a unique perspective in the art of parenting.

Over the years, they developed a powerful system of discipline based on the principle of personal accountability. After using the system in their home with success, they were encouraged by friends and associates to share their parenting techniques with others. This encouragement and a strong desire to help others lead to the creation of Accountability Concepts.

This audio was originally recorded ten years ago. I have been wanting to share it on my podcast, but his sweet wife (my dear friend Julie) was diagnosed with cancer and then lost her courageous battle in 2014. During those difficult years, their website was shut down, their business was put on hold, and the audio remained hidden in my archives. But it is my pleasure now to announce that Matt’s website is once again back on line, and he has given me the green light to finally share this audio FREE with you now.

To learn more about Matt Reichmann’s powerful parenting program, visit Accountability Concepts.

Why Disappointment can be a Good Thing

“One of the greatest skills we can learn in life is how to deal effectively with disappointments, because after all, life is full of them. Learning the skill not only helps us turn things around, but it can also help us have total peace of mind (and even joy) in the meantime. As we learn to respond to disappointments in ways that are in harmony with the laws of success, we discover that there is always something wonderful to be gained from them.” ~ Leslie Householder

The Law of Polarity is all about opposites. Day/night, black/white, up/down, smile/frown.  One effective way to learn about something is through the use of opposites–we can understand more of what something is by understanding what it is NOT. We understand happiness because we understand sadness. We understand what is right because we understand what is wrong…

[It] assures us that even when things look bad–even very, very bad–there is the potential for good.  It doesn’t necessarily take away the natural sorrow we feel when bad things happen… But the pain is mitigated by the faith in something good coming from the bad situation.

There is room for both sadness and happiness in life. In fact, both are necessary. How could we understand happiness without experiencing the opposite?  People who strive to live without experiencing sadness or other negative feelings also limit their capacity for experiencing joy.

Parenting is the perfect example of the Law of Polarity.  Within this experience we find the greatest capacity for love, joy, and happiness, and also the greatest sorrow, frustration, and disappointment. The love a parent has for a child is transcendent, and the grief a parent experiences as a child struggles can be overwhelming.  But such great happiness does not come WITHOUT soul-wrenching experiences. The greater the heartache, the greater the joy that can come…

Read the complete article here…

For more on this topic, read Hidden Treasures: Heaven’s Astonishing Help with Your Money Matters (free!)

Author Robyn Young is a Mindset Mastery Certified Mentor and Genius Bootcamp Facilitator. Join Robyn for our next Genius Bootcamp – registration NOW OPEN – Early bird rate expires soon! Click here to learn more.

Adversity and Unifying the Family

Back when all my kids still lived at home:

Journal Entry 2008:

Tonight was our weekly family night, an evening set aside to spend time with the kids and improve our family relationships through activities and instruction. However, more often than we’d like, it’s actually the only family argument to open and close with prayer (as songwriter Michael Mclean once lamented). Nevertheless, we persist. We trust that the habit alone serves as an adhesive to help our kids feel like they belong to something important as they grow and prepare to face the world on their own.

Tonight was contentious, probably because of me. Honestly, I didn’t feel like “playing.” I was in an emotional slump and my head ached (a Law of Rhythm thing methinks). But because it has long been established as a weekly tradition, my kids began asking me what we were going to be doing that evening. Trying to brush the topic aside until I could rest my headache away, my answer was simply, “I just don’t know yet.”

My 12 year-old Nathan begged me to take them to the park for dodge ball, a family favorite. My 15 year-old Jacob had too much homework so we compromised and played some in the back yard with him first. Then he was back to the books and the rest of us headed off to the park for some more serious battles.

I loosened up, forgot my headache. Eventually I got off the swing set with the baby and began playing dodge ball, too. Holding the baby helped; the family was gentle when tossing it in my direction, and I won at least one of the rounds. There was still the usual sibling-to-sibling bickering, but I believe everyone had plenty of fun.

Finally it was time to go home. We gathered to the van and Trevan (my husband) realized that the keys had been locked inside. Nathan suggested we call Jacob to drive them over. But our other set of keys had already disappeared months ago, and since we never needed the second set, we had never bothered with finding or replacing it.

Besides, Jacob isn’t old enough to drive.

Trevan suggested we say a prayer. We huddled together and he asked God to allow the door to somehow be unlocked so that we wouldn’t have to walk the mile home. Then he said,

“But if not, help us to enjoy the walk.”

The front passenger window was cracked about 2 1/2 inches. First we tried to see if any of the kids’ arms were skinny enough and long enough to reach the door lock.

No good.

Through the front window we could see, resting in front of a couple books on the dash, a mechanic’s wire claw (about two feet long, used for grabbing little things that get dropped inside an engine). I asked Trevan where the keys were and he said they were in the passenger cup holder in the center console. I asked if he thought that the wire grabber would be long enough to reach them, but it looked pretty short compared to the distance between the cracked window and the center console.

It was the only possible option at that point, so even though it was a long-shot remedy, we got to work trying to obtain that claw.

None of us could reach it through the narrow window crack. Kayli suggested we use one of the badminton rackets that we had brought with us. We first tried to use the racket to pull the lock up (to no avail – wrong angle). Then we tried to use it to bring the claw closer, but there was a thick “Jane Eyre” book on the dash blocking it.

The window opening was about 2.5 inches wide along the top, but only about 1.5 inches wide at the lower front gap (the part closest to the dash where the claw rested). Trevan force-pulled the window down to give me an additional 1/2 inch or so, and although I couldn’t reach the claw, I realized I could reach the fuzzy dash cover upon which the books and the claw sat. So I grabbed the cover and pulled it toward me until the claw was within reach.

Next we had to use the claw to reach the keys. But no matter who tried, the closest we could get to the cup holder with that claw was at best 4 inches. We were SO CLOSE! How can we have so much success getting this far only to have our efforts fail now?

There had to be a way.

Trevan discovered that if a person could be lifted higher than the van, their arm could get into the window opening a little better and reach a little farther. But there wasn’t anything to stand on except the wheel, two feet in front of where we needed to be.

After Trevan tried and then Nathan, I took a turn standing on the wheel, leaning 45 degrees onto Trevan and squeezing my arm into the narrow gap. Nathan supported me from behind so I wouldn’t fall backwards off of Trevan’s shoulder. Simultaneously, Trevan force-pulled the window down just enough for me to get my forearm in. Then, miraculously my elbow passed through. I managed to hook the keyring with the claw and began to pull them out. At one scary moment it felt like my arm might break before I had the chance to completely extract the claw and keys. Carefully maneuvering my arm and shoulder while leaning at that unnatural angle, I managed to pull them out.

After a round of “high-fives” we paused to give thanks, and then took a moment to help the kids see an important lesson in the experience:

Everything we needed was already there. We simply had to ask for help, and then get to work putting it all together in the right order.

The same is true in life. You already have all you need – the resources, the people, the brains – you just need to begin utilizing them in the right combination and in the right order. It can be hard, I know! It’s easy to feel blind to the solution. The good news is that as you make an attempt, every failure will lead you to think of the next idea, one after the other until you find the solution.

Just remember that it never helps to fret and fuss, moan and complain. Solutions are best (and sometimes ONLY) discovered by the person who is at peace, expectant, hopeful, and tenacious.

So ask God for what you need, and be willing to accept “no” for an answer (“but if not, help us to enjoy the walk.”) Then get to work finding the way to make your goal a reality. You might not yet have the keys you need to go where you want to go, but you do already have everything you need to begin the process of obtaining them.

And sometimes the solution only becomes apparent after a series of frustrating attempts. So keep trying!

If we had truly exhausted all possibilities without success, we would we have eventually tightened our shoelaces and started home on foot. I’m just glad we didn’t have to. In any case, I believe our family night was a success because we were unified for a common purpose (if only for 20-30 minutes), and it only happened because we first had adversity. (Law of Polarity)

And you know what? Solving the problem as a family turned out to be ten times more gratifying than the best game of dodgeball could ever be. Originally published April 8, 2008

For more about the laws of success, click here to read Hidden Treasures (free!)

Learn more about how you can Prosper the Family

Understanding the Law of Vibration

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Have you ever heard this expression before? Or maybe, “Seeing is believing”? Our eyes are extremely useful tools for helping us to gather information, but there are plenty of things that affect us every day that we CANNOT see.

Like what, you ask?

Well, like vibrations.

Vibration is movement. Very often you can see something vibrate, like the string of an instrument while it is being played. If you look closely, you might see the string get kind of blurry from moving back and forth at a high rate of speed. But there is even more happening that you cannot see. The vibration of the string (which is visible) makes the air around it vibrate (which is invisible), which makes your eardrum vibrate (again, invisible), and your brain translates that vibration into sound. You can’t see it, but the whole reason you can hear is because of vibration.

Have you ever seen or heard of a theremin? It’s an instrument that uses vibration to make sound. Actually, ALL instruments use vibrations to make sound (that’s how sound works, remember?), but with a theremin, you don’t even touch the instrument. Instead, you use your hands to manipulate the vibrations, which changes the sound.

Watch a video of a theremin HERE

Amazing to watch, isn’t it? The explanation of how a theremin works is equally fascinating.

Video: How it works

But what does a theremin have to do with your thoughts?

A lot more than you might think.

All things vibrate. We know that all matter is made up of tiny particles so small that we cannot see them. These particles are called atoms, and atoms move constantly. So even if you are sitting completely still, because you are made of atoms, you are really moving–a lot!

Here is the interesting part: even non-tangible things vibrate. Something intangible, like a tone or a note, has a specific vibration or frequency.

Other intangible things, like thoughts and feelings, also have a specific vibration.

Read the rest of this article HERE

Author Robyn Young is a Mindset Mastery Certified Mentor and Genius Bootcamp Facilitator. Join Robyn for our next Genius Bootcamp – registration NOW OPEN – Early bird rate expires soon! Click here to learn more.

They All Have Angels

Depression had gripped me throughout my second pregnancy. I was thrilled to be expecting another baby, but the hormones made it difficult for me to feel the happiness.

When the time came, labor was long and complicated. By the time my son came into the world, I was too exhausted to celebrate his arrival. For the next 24 hours I lay in bed rehearsing what I had just gone through, unable to do much else but shake my head in disbelief that any human being could have lived through such an ordeal. I had no words for how I felt.

I held him tenderly and remarked to my husband about his dark, almost purple complexion… which side of the family did that come from? He seemed especially tired to me, but the nurses weren’t concerned so I just tried to get some rest and regain my strength.

We were nearly ready to leave the hospital when the nurse came into the room. She had taken him for a routine task and was now coming back. I pretended to be asleep and then I heard her ask my husband “Is your wife sleeping?” He told her I was, and she said, “There’s a problem.”

I rolled over and sat up. She told us that he had turned blue and that he was being prepared for a helicopter transport to the Primary Children’s Hospital in Salt Lake City 45 minutes away. In an oxygen bubble he was doing well, but they needed to do some tests to figure out what was wrong.

We finished our packing, and caught up with my little boy before they whisked him away. We managed to find another Elder from our church in the hospital that assisted my husband in giving Nathan a blessing that he would grow to live a long life of service to God. I shed a tear but felt numb… I had missed my chance to emotionally connect with him.

After several tests it was determined that he had been born with a heart defect and needed surgery, for which he was scheduled just a few days later. We stayed in a nearby Ronald McDonald House and our life was put on hold. I sat with him and kept a tape recorder in his bed playing the music I had labored with. It was calming and had come to represent a sort of peace amidst the beeps and bustle of hospital chaos, first for me and now for him. We finally began to bond, as I tried to understand who he was and what he meant to me.

The day of surgery we took pictures and kissed him and then let them take him away. We sat in the waiting room for four hours, waiting for word. Then it came. All had gone well and there were no surprises; he would be stable enough to go home in a week or two. Relief settled over us.

My husband couldn’t be away from work any longer so he left me at the Ronald McDonald House and went home to get some rest before work the next day. I lay in bed at 10:00 pm, feeling guilty and beating myself up that I wasn’t by Nathan’s side helping him through his first night after surgery. What kind of a mother was I, that I could be so bitter after the delivery, and then to not be near him now? Oh, how I wanted to be.

But in all of the commotion, everyone including me had forgotten that I was recovering too. I should have been resting the past four days, and the fatigue had caught up with me and hit me hard. I stayed there crying, utterly exhausted physically and emotionally, scarcely able to move, let alone get back to the hospital to comfort my little Nathan. “Dear Father in Heaven, please let thine angels attend Nathan tonight, I just can’t go; I just can’t.” A warm, comforting feeling came over me and I knew my prayer had been heard. I relaxed and left Nathan in God’s hands for the night.

Nathan came home ten days later, with tubes taped to his face and an oxygen tank, which would be his constant companion for the next six months. At three months I took him in for a follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, who examined his thriving little body in amazement. I didn’t understand why she would be so astonished, until I overheard her quietly telling an intern, “Most of the kids with his defect don’t make it past 3 months.”

That isn’t anything I remember ever being told; I had only expected him to live “a long life of service to God.” What else hadn’t I been told? No matter. I knew there was a purpose and good in everything that had happened. If I had been able to bond before they had whisked him away, I doubt I could have coped with his emergency. If I had been able to be with him the first night after surgery, I would have missed the sweet feeling of having a prayer so surely answered.

Only two months later I was reading in the newest issue of the Ensign Magazine. It told a true story of another girl that had been treated at the very same hospital. I quote a few excerpts:

“Clayne…hurried from the intensive care unit to awaken Debbie, who was sleeping in the hospital’s parent room. ‘There are visitors,’ he told his wife. ‘I can’t see them, and I doubt that you can see them. But I can feel them.’

“For nearly an hour, Sherrie looked about the cubicle and described her visitors, all deceased family members. Exhausted, she then fell asleep.

“‘Daddy, all of the children here in the intensive care unit have angels helping them,’ Sherrie later told her father… ‘People from the other side helped,’ Sherrie recalls tearfully. ‘When I was really in pain, they would come and help me calm down. They told me that I would be okay and that I would make it through.’’’ (Michael R. Morris, “Sherrie’s shield of Faith,” Ensign, June 1995, 44)

With the initial challenges behind us, I truly enjoyed bonding with Nathan. He is a very special young man with a uniquely compassionate heart. I am even grateful for that difficult experience, because I know that when we pray, we are heard. And now I also understand that when the angels were taking care of Nathan that night, they were also taking care of me. Originally published December 23, 2008

#27: How to Profit from Your Losses

In this program, I talk about three reasons we have setbacks, and what to do, so that the hidden benefit contained in every adversity can be realized.

Resources mentioned:

12-week Home Study Program: http://www.prosperthefamily.com
Jackrabbit Factor free download: http://www.jackrabbitfactor.com
Free Report: http://www.portaltogenius.com

This program was originally recorded for Hilton-Johnson’s Global Teleclass Summit in 2009.

How to Create a Vacuum When You Don’t Have Control over the Vacuum

Here’s a conversation I had with one of my Mindset Mastery students that you might find interesting. She writes…

Dear Leslie, I am taking your Mindset Mastery Online Course, and I love it! I find I do best working in spurts, but right now, I have another issue.  I’ve been studying all of the laws, and the fact that “nature abhors a vacuum” has really resonated with me.  Even in the past, I’ve found myself getting rid of things so something better can replace them.

I’d love your advice on how to create a vacuum with my house, however.  My husband doesn’t read your material, or hold the same beliefs I do, but I still feel I can have that “rare kind of faith” in my life and have it positively affect me and others.  My husband doesn’t want to put the house on the market, even though I thought that would be the best way to create a vacuum for a new house.  I know putting it on the market can’t be the only way to manifest a new house–the house I truly desire–so, do you have any suggestions?  I’ve visualized the new house many times, and continue to do so and believe and get very excited about it, I’m just not sure where to go from here.  I’m even packing some things so they’ll be easier to move when the time comes.

Thank you so much for all you do–your advice and perspective have given me hope in places I had none.  I’m certain Heavenly Father guided my path so that I would find you.

My reply:

Sounds like you’re on the right track. You don’t need to create a vacuum every time you set a goal – that’s just one way of going about it, and in this case, I’d recommend you take the gentler approach to preserve the relationship. Use the vacuum law for goals and objectives that don’t threaten other family members’ sense of security. Use it for the more personal goals, at least until your husband is on board. You can still get into a house with the other principles (transmutation, vibration). Not all principles need to be utilized for every goal. Different goals and different situations will call for the application of different corresponding laws and principles. Hope this helps… 🙂 Leslie

It does help–thank you, Leslie!  Even as I sent the e-mail, it occurred to me that maybe it was easier for me to just “get rid of things,” and wait for something new to show up (because I had the “believing” part down) than to apply some of the other laws.  Your reply brings clarity and reassurance–thank you for taking the time to send it.

_______

Reader, I’d love to help YOU figure out how to apply and realize the benefits of living with Rare Faith, too. Click here to learn more, and let me help you now!

The Power of Relativity

“I cried because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet.” ~Ancient Proverb

Have you ever been around one of those people who is an eternal optimist? The kind of person who, after you have just vented to them about some rotten thing that has happened to you, comes up with a reason that it’s really a good thing?

Isn’t it irritating? 😉

Actually, it’s all about perspective. What that eternal optimist knows is that “good” or “bad” depends on how you look at it.

The Law of Relativity states that any given circumstance is neither good nor bad, it just is. Good or bad is a meaning that we attach to the circumstance, based on our thoughts.

And we can change our thoughts…

No matter how bad our circumstances may be, we can always find someone who has things worse than we do.  Understanding that it could always be worse can help us to remain grateful in hard times. The more frequently we practice gratitude for the things we have, the happier we are.  The Law of Relativity, however, is about more than just putting a positive spin on our hard times. The power in the Law of Relativity comes as we begin to see our setbacks as blessings.

Watch what happens when a girl who was told to never say “can’t” takes that advice to heart…

Watch the video, and read the rest of the article here

For more on this topic, read Hidden Treasures: Heaven’s Astonishing Help with Your Money Matters (free!)

Author Robyn Young is a Mindset Mastery Certified Mentor and Genius Bootcamp Facilitator. Join Robyn for our next Genius Bootcamp – registration NOW OPEN – Early bird rate expires soon! Click here to learn more.

When Someone Steps on Your Hair

“Leaning into” your problem is less painful than pretending it doesn’t exist.

One afternoon as I was playing with my kids, my sweet little two year-old stepped on my hair.

The instant I felt the pain, I pulled away to get out from under her little feet. It was my instantaneous reaction, albeit not very smart.

Lesson learned:

When someone steps on your hair, lean in, and gingerly remove them from off your hair before pulling away.

I know, I know… it’s not an experience that most of the people in the world will ever have, but it reminded me of a principle worth mentioning.

When you have pain in your life, financial or otherwise, just don’t panic. Panic leads to instinctive reaction, and instinctive reaction oftens result in more pain overall than is necessary.

Subconscious programs kick in when you’re in “fight or flight” (panic/survival) mode.

The key is to lean into the source of your pain, address it without panic or negative emotion, and handle it with a cool head. You’ll be able to solve your problem and avoid unnecessary suffering.

If the problem is that you’re short on money, don’t retreat from your problems, lean in. Go to the person you owe money to, and talk to them about it with a cool head and with the intention of finding a workable solution. Even if there seems to be no possible way to repay a debt, expressing your intentions and regret can leave you feeling more positive than if you pretend the problem isn’t there.

With a positive mindset, you’ll be more likely to eventually think of new solutions you haven’t yet considered.

So, any time you want to instinctively pull away from a problem (hoping it will go away if you just retreat fast enough), remember the lesson I learned from the two year-old who stepped on my hair.

“What if I can never repay my debts? What if I have to file bankruptcy?”

Keep browsing this blog. You’ll learn how to find your hidden resources, and also how to turn failures into successes.

You can also download my free ebook: Hidden Treasures: Heaven’s Astonishing Help with Your Money Matters

Need a genius solution to a difficult problem? Sign up for Genius Bootcamp – early rate expires soon! Originally published July 4, 2009

Surviving a Faith Crisis

I had my own faith crisis a few years ago.

When I found myself with more questions than I had answers, I felt like the earth had fallen out from beneath my feet for a time. But then ultimately I decided to focus and reflect back on some of the answers I had already received in my life, and by doing so, I began to more easily recognize the source of my confusion.

I got through my crisis by looking back and reflecting on the times when the Lord’s guidance was clear and the answers were sure. To be honest, they were few. I was reminded of how quiet, but piercing, unmistakable and true His answers were – something that cannot be duplicated by anything else – and the memory of it was enough to get me through another day.

It was different than a feeling of “wow,” “amazing,” or “empowerment,” “love,” and “light”. Those feel good and expand my soul, and I’d prefer to only feel those things.

But this was deeper than that. It was more like a sobering Alma 36 moment – like the jolt you feel when you suddenly realize you nearly fell asleep at the wheel with your family in the car.

God doesn’t ONLY deliver love and light. Sometimes out of love he also delivers uncomfortable wake-up calls. The God I follow does both, and so I have to be willing to receive both.

Did you know there are other ‘gods’ that would have our devotion? I’m not talking about ‘materialism’ or other worldly distractions, I’m talking about literal spirit beings who love to build their following of worshippers, but who did not CREATE us.

At one time I felt a sharp reprimand – the words delivered to a crowd, but striking me with particular force, “Return to the God of Israel.” It was an odd thought, but it certainly got my attention – I didn’t know I had left. I never intended to, and I didn’t think I had, but it definitely got me thinking and discerning more carefully. Before that, it never dawned on me that there were other so-called ‘gods’ competing for my attention, but there are. Not all promptings that make you feel good and light are from the one true God. Other ‘gods’ promise to lead you to a life of love and freedom, but only One will deliver on his eternal promises, and His is a straight and narrow path.

I had to make a choice and finally declared, “I could be wrong here, but here it is. I CHOOSE to believe.”

Regardless of what we know or don’t know, we have a CHOICE. And I chose to believe.

Afterward I felt a renewed and unexpected confirmation of peace. Unmistakable. Love, light, assurance, all of it. Even “wow”, “amazing”, and “empowerment”. The best feeling, though, was the PEACE – a peace that no other feeling can touch. It’s not grand. It’s not earth shattering. It’s too quiet, too deep, too solid, too sacred. It’s anchoring. But it only came AFTER I made my conscious choice, not before. That’s agency.

That’s the test: we have to study things out in our own mind, come to a conclusion, and then ask God (not Google, not Facebook) if we are right. There are wonderful answers online, but the only kinds of answers that endure faith crises are the ones that come directly from God. (James 1:5)

I don’t need people at church to be a certain way. I don’t even need the sermons at church to say a certain thing, because I can always learn and study true doctrine on my own. People are imperfect and get it wrong all the time. But they get it right a lot of the time, too. They’re trying, and there’s grace. We’re all just doing the best we can.

My relationship with God is personal. I feel that He still wants me there. I go to worship, serve, learn, teach, and most importantly, renew my covenants. Covenants with God are as old as the earth. I wouldn’t dare presume that we’ve evolved so much as a people that they don’t still matter in 2017. There is at least one very real and jealous influence that would love to make us believe otherwise, but the potential consequences of letting go (to me) just aren’t worth the risk.

I trust the Lord’s pace for my understanding.

I choose to stay, and I am at Peace.

“When problems arise and questions come, do not start your quest for faith by saying how much you don’t have… I’m not asking you to pretend to faith you do not have. I am asking you to be true to the faith you do have. Sometimes we act as if an honest declaration of doubt is a higher manifestation of moral courage than is an honest declaration of faith. It is not!”

“Honestly acknowledge your questions and concerns, but first and forever fan the flame of your faith, because all things are possible to them that believe. Be candid about your questions; life is full of them. But please don’t hyperventilate if issues arise that need to be examined. What we know will always trump what we don’t know. So don’t let questions stand in the way of faith working its miracle.”

~ Jeffrey R. Holland (emphasis added)