When the husband isn’t providing

I’d like to share a powerful example of how this work (of learning to live by Rare Faith) can impact the family. The following is shared with permission, from one of our Mindset Mastery Program participants. Wendy writes:

I would like to share a significant A-ha moment about money and marriage that has been percolating over the past year.

For 3 years I’ve been trying to turn my side-hustle hobby into one full-time, highly lucrative business. I knew I had emotional baggage around money and especially around my husband+money.

Money and Marriage has been a toxic mix for nearly 20 years now. A year ago I started working with a mindset coach for my biz but it extended into my family relationships, etc, because that’s where a lot of my baggage was centered.

Last summer I had an assignment from her to emotionally and mentally “unplug” myself from needing my husband to provide for me. Yes, that might sound obvious to some of you, but it was a deeply ingrained message from when I was a tiny girl. That message had set me up to create a co-dependent relationship with my spouse and left me feeling crippled every time I tried to create financial income for myself.

Instead I would manipulate, hen-peck, and try to “coach” my husband into being the financial fixer/savior for me and our children. It says a lot about his character that he still loves/likes me after all of that ^. *Ugh*

Anyway, shortly after that unplugging assignment I started listening to the Rare Faith podcasts, introduced my husband to them, and we both started to change.

When we joined the Mindset Mastery program I was still wrapped up in the idea that he had to make more money than me, that it was too hard and too stressful for me to be a mom and a financial provider, etc.

When I hit Modules 7, 8, 9 things started to look different. It was like I was waking up from my own life and now I saw myself, my husband, and my children as if I was a completely different person. That old story from that little girl I had been was displaced and I no longer felt those fears that were such a part of me. I finished Phase 1 with flying colors. I even achieved a significant goal because I knew I could.

When I was in Module 14 my husband hit his own terror barrier and instead of trying to “rescue” him (because I felt I had to as he was my financial life-preserver), I heard him out but asked myself: “What is my part that I should be contributing to my goal? He has his own goals. But mine are mine. So what is my part?”

I got a genius idea within 24 hours. Over the subsequent two weeks I continued working through lesson after lesson, fine-tuning my plan, working through my own terror barriers with his and my coach’s help, and saying my goal statement a zillion times.

One of the lessons in Module 17 talks about being grateful for the paper sacks. My husband has worked in the same company for a while now. I had a lot of resentment, pain, and fear around his employment because I saw them as contributing to our financial hardships. I had tried to forgive them, but it wasn’t really working. Through that Module I was able to change my vibration and become neutral about any further income from them. Instead of needing them to save me too, I unplugged myself from them, knowing that all I needed to achieve my worthy goals would come from whatever source was most efficient. I could identify and receive it from wherever God sent it.

Within 2 days of that ^^ shift, I had an experience with my husband that showed me how far my subconscious has shifted. I looked at him and instead of feeling that instinctive, gut-jerking need for him to do more and make more money, I just saw my sweetheart. There was no co-dependency or disappointment. Just affection. I no longer needed him, or his company, to provide for me.

AND within 2 days of that ^^ shift, he received a significant promotion and raise at his job that made whatever income I made in my biz unnecessary to support our family’s current lifestyle. (He can tell more details about his own “rabbit” if he chooses.)

AND (here’s the clincher guys…)
I.
DIDN’T.
NEED.
IT.

I was completely indifferent to it. I was EXCITED for him of course! Because that’s really cool for him! But I didn’t need the income to accomplish my goal.

I was already chasing my rabbit.

After thinking on this for a few days, I wonder if God has just been waiting to unleash blessings that he knew I wanted, only because I was trying to make someone else do the work for me. He knew I needed to understand this first before I could receive it without sabotaging it.

This is just really cool and I can’t thank Leslie enough for inspired teaching that helped this little girl, now grown woman, heal very old wounds that were ruining her life and her family’s.

I hope this helps someone else stick with it. Keep going through the lessons, one after another. Line upon line, our minds and hearts ARE changing. – Wendy B., Mindset Mastery Program participant

Thank you for sharing, Wendy. I’ve had similar experiences with Rare Faith (read the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to write), and what you described is a true principle in action. I’m sure there are others who have experienced the same phenomenon, and I hope they’ll share in the comments below.

______________________

Learn more about the Mindset Mastery Program here

Denise Wallace’s Graduation Spotlight

I’m pleased to present Denise Wallace as a new Mindset Mastery Honors Graduate!  

You may remember Denise from an article I wrote about her back in September. She had already achieved two goals (one about getting a fridge, and the other about having $4000 in savings) after only a few weeks into her lessons:

Read more about her early experiences here: Our Thoughts Do Things

Anyway, all that was when she was just getting started. But now she’s full-on graduated with Honors, and has quite a bit more to say about her latter experiences in this program.

Enjoy the recap, in her words:

Wow, what an amazing year! I started this course in May and completed it in November. Only 6 months!! I set out to achieve a particular goal that I had been working on for 3 years, and found myself realizing that that is not what I wanted.

This course helped me to find my passion and purpose. It helped me realize what I truly want in life, and to reset my path to be more aligned with being home to raise my boys. It also gave me the courage to do something different and speak up about things I am passionate about.

Following the principles taught in this course also helped my family find a home that is more suited to our family and lifestyle, and brought us from a less desirable neighborhood to one that is perfect for raising my boys in. I am so excited about all the new possibilities that this course opened up for us.

On Breaking Through a Terror Barrier

I don’t know what it is about me, but when I am afraid to do something, it affects my whole body. I start to sweat and my whole body starts to shake uncontrollably. I have always backed down from doing something if this starts to happen, but I realize now it is just a terror barrier and my body is trying to keep me in the safe zone. So I experienced this as I was doing my Live Facebook posts, and the biggest one was when I applied for [a certain] Scholarship.

For some reason I have always had thoughts that achieving stuff like that just does not happen to ordinary people like me so I don’t even try. As I applied for the Scholarship it was so hard for me to submit, but I finally just hit the “send” button. I almost had to have my husband do it for me. I was shocked at how much fear I had just doing that and how my body was reacting.

Even after I sent the application off, I had to work really hard to keep my thoughts calm. and not allow them to go to negative thinking. I kept myself very busy… anything to not allow myself to sit and ponder. Every time a negative thought would come to me I had to work really hard mentally to switch my thinking around. Lots of deep breathing activities and uplifting conversations with myself, along with fun music and lots of time spent being present with my kids.

I did get the scholarship and am so grateful for this experience that I had. [It] was worth all the time, money and lessons learned on breaking through a terror barrier.

I felt like a liar

I have never in my whole life allowed myself to sit and dream about things, or imagine what life could be like with this or that. I watched my parents struggle, and just thought that if you want anything in life you have to work and struggle and hopefully catch a break. I have even made it very hard for my husband and my family to dream about things, because in my mind it was a waste of time to dream build. “Just go to work,” were my thoughts.

The last 3 years my husband and I have struggled to really get our business up and running. We have gone to seminar after seminar. Put up vision boards and speak affirmations daily, but I never really understood why I was doing this, I always felt like such a liar saying these things to myself, and never allowed myself to really believe I could have or achieve the things on my vision board.

I really related to Leslie when she talks about all the speakers saying, “Dream big, think positive, speak the things you want”. Like her, I just thought, “Yeah yeah yeah, [but] what are the steps to do the work?”

…I read Jackrabbit Factor, Hidden TreasuresPortal to Genius, (and I even went through the Mindset Fundamentals E-course) before I started studying this Mindset Mastery course. The laws have been my A-Ha, and Leslie has done an amazing job at teaching them to me in a way that I am finally understanding how it all works.

I was only half way through this course, and it already provided huge breakthroughs for me. … This course … helped me to … appreciate and be grateful for my husband, children, and other family members. It … helped me raise money for my father. Helped us get into a better home, and on a path to financial freedom. I understand now why we have struggled so much with our business. I am so excited to apply these principles and laws along with my new mindset to our future goals.

I did not die!

For lesson 18 I felt inspired to do a Facebook live, teaching how to Slay Dragons and how this helps my family keep positive daily. I experienced all the sensations of fear before starting my live feed. My whole body started to tremble, I started sweating, my heart was racing. I honestly was terrified. It took me many tries of recording myself over and over again before I could actually do it live, but after I completed it I had several people respond on how the information was helpful to them. I found out I did not die and I ended up doing 50 days of Facebook live posts along with recorded videos, called 100 Days of Joy. I just reported daily on what I found joy in each day or how I turned a negative situation and changed my perspective to find the joy out of the situation.

I made it to day 50 then took a social media fast. It did get easier to speak live each time I did it. But my nerves tried to take over every day, and I just had to push record and go before my brain tried to talk me out of it. I am finding that I have a voice and I have information that others need and want to hear. I never had anyone say anything negative to me about my posts, but I did have a few people comment and thank me for speaking up about whatever I said that day.

My Midterm Experience

As I was thinking about what to choose for my midterm goal, I immediately thought of my 5 year old son. His birthday was coming up and he asked for an electric train set. But he did not want just any train set, he wanted one with lots of tracks and accessories. As I started looking at them, I realized they are $500 or more. So I thought this would be a good inconsequential goal, after all, if I did not find a train set, I had other ideas to fall back on.

I immediately started visualizing the train set I wanted to find for him. I saw his excitement playing with it, and felt so much joy and thankfulness for finding such an awesome train set for about $100. A couple days after visualizing the train set, I decided to go to different yard sales and see if I could find a used set. Nothing.

A few days later, I had some free time, and knew I needed to get his present ordered soon before we headed out on vacation the following week. So my husband and I both started searching some online stores and a few buy, sell, trade sights. I then thought I would check Ebay again. Last time I checked everything was way over budget, but this time I found one seller that was selling multiple sets put together, there was enough trains, tracks and accessories to build a whole big town, and it was only $120!!!!!

could not believe it, I felt so much joy and gratitude the tears came. This was the hardest goal for me to continue to believe in. I had to constantly reject any negative thoughts about finding a train set and replace the thoughts with joy and gratitude, but the train set came 6 days after I first visualized it and felt gratitude for it.

I am still in awe over the whole experience.

Adjusting the Goal

My [original Phase 2] goal was to reach the rank of paid as 12K in our health business. …I did not accomplish that goal, but I did accomplish paid as 3K status in our business 3 months in a row… a stepping stone to 12K. …I realized [my original] goal was a lot bigger than a one-month goal, and I needed to make more sub goals to reach it. 

I had to stop saying my goal statement 70 times each week, because I realized it was frustrating me too much the closer and closer I got to the end date of my goal. I was not able to feel excited about reaching 12K, every time I read it. I just felt defeated and struggled to feel the happiness that it would bring me.

As I have reached other goals, I have found that for me, I need to allow myself to feel the excitement and joy and gratitude, visualize it being accomplished, then leave it at that and go about my business and my daily routine.

(We talked about this at Genius Bootcamp, I thought there was something wrong with me until you mentioned YOU had to take down your vision board for a time, and also that you don’t count your profits after each event, because it sets you back. I have the same problem, the more I look at the facts, the harder it is for me to believe it is going to happen, so I just visualize, feel gratitude, ask, and go about my business.)

Unexpected Detour

In lesson 21 I realized I did not want to pursue building [my health business] anymore. After going through this course, I realized that the purpose of that business has been accomplished for me at this time.

I have other dreams and desires that I feel are more aligned to my purpose. I am still figuring it all out, but as soon as I let go of the goal of reaching 12K again, I had a strong impression to get myself to Genius Bootcamp. So that was my next goal.

Back in October I had spent some time visualizing myself being at the bootcamp, and I saw myself sitting in the class and learning from Leslie. I was excited and felt very grateful to be there. I had resigned myself to waiting until summer of 2019 or when we move back to the mainland.

When I saw … another bootcamp for the end of November, I started looking into flights and found that I could get cheap flight for that weekend and presented it to my husband. He did not agree and said to wait after the holidays. …We figured we could spend about $1000 for me to go. So I … tried my hardest not to think about it again until I got the confirmation that I [had the help I needed] to go. As I was looking for flights, over night the prices dropped from $800 to $600, and with our military discount at the hotel I was able to keep our right about $1000. I was even able to attend the evening VIP dinner.

…This course has given me so much more insight. and given me so many lessons learned than I could ever have expected. I have reached many, many other goals using the process taught here. (We even found a more suitable home for our family using this process…)

I am excited to take the Guided Mindset Mastery Course to add to my learning, along with starting the Mentor Training Course.

 

Again, Congratulations, Denise! You’ve done an amazing job! 

___________________

What’s YOUR story going to be?

I want to see YOU graduate, too! Learn more about the Mindset Mastery program HERE.

The 12-week Mindset Mastery Program is not to be confused with the 8-week Mindset Fundamentals Ecourse.

The Fundamentals Ecourse is a powerful exploration of the principles that govern success, and takes an introductory approach for effective goal setting. It also fills the gaps to give you a basic but complete understanding of the principles, so that you have a solid foundation on which to develop true mastery. 

By contrast, the Mastery Program is focused on the *implementation* of the principles and the *achievement* of your goals. It is full of interesting assignments that take you step-by-step through two experimental goals, challenging your thought processes, helping you experience success, and setting up a pattern in your thinking that you will be able to utilize over and over for effectiveness with all of your future goals. I hope you’ll join me in one of these programs, to help you take your understanding and success to the next level in ALL the different areas of your life. Learn more about the difference HERE.

#53: You Got This-Interview

In preparation for the “You Got This” Interfaith Women’s Conference Saturday, March 23, 2019, I was interviewed about my upcoming breakout session titled, “Rising Above Financial Stress”. Listen now for insights that can help increase your faith today.

To learn more about the conference, visit yougotthiswomen.com/ – (live streamed if you’re not in Utah) – Save $$, use PROMO CODE: leslieh

Crazy uncertainty and chaos

I loved these words from one of our Mindset Mastery Program participants, F.J. – particularly because of how she is thinking, processing, and choosing carefully how to process her experiences. It’s not easy. It’s not always quick. But I have no doubt that she is going to succeed at the things she chooses to pursue.

Check it out. She said:

I must be close to breakthrough. Life seriously looks like a mess. I have been working for this for many months. I know it is right, I don’t doubt that the answers will come, but I have been uncertain about the timing and the how and that bit of uncertainty has been hard. I really do feel that I am living Gideon’s (from the Bible) story. All my resources have been taken away. There will be no question from where the blessings really came. (no way could I take credit for it!!)

I read You2 (You squared) yesterday and it was just what I needed. I started to think “What would happen if I did retreat, I realized that I absolutely do not want that. I am positive that that would be in the wrong direction for what the Lord has for me. I would be letting Him down and I would be held accountable for that. I would let myself down, too. It would somehow be a denial or betrayal of all the tender mercies that I have already received. No, definitely not backwards.

The book ended with … if you walk in during a surgery, it looks like a murder has happened. – Things get dark before it gets better. I realized that I am right there. That describes my life perfectly right now.

Therefore I am SUPER close, and that is exciting.

Then to top it off, I listened to the Principles of Personal Freedom episode of the Rare Faith Podcast today.

THAT DID IT!!

Now I am honestly excited to be in the middle of this crazy uncertainty and chaos. I am totally psyched. It’s going to be an amazing story to tell. I am so, so grateful that I have been lead down this path. I am so grateful for all of you who have walked it ahead of me and shown me that it can be done. I am so grateful that these amazing blessings are already mine (even though I do not yet see them.)

What a wild adventure.

Related: Adversity before Prosperity

Eight days later, she also shared this:

(It made me smile, so I’m sharing…)

For when you are facing your terror barrier or when it looks hopeless yet you know your close:

(ok. so it’s really just for me. I am thinking hard to keep myself in a positive vibration since nothing appears to be going right. And Shatner’s “sounds like fun” came to mind and made me smile.)

Way to go, F.J. – I’m super proud of you!!

So, friends, keep smiling. Keep learning. Keep believing. You got this. It’s NOT all for nothing – THAT I can promise you. Keep searching for the hidden gifts in your adversities, and you will find them. Believe that they are good, and your world will brighten.

If you’re ready to let me help you do this, join me in the Mindset Mastery Program. It’s 25% off through January 31st! Check your newsletter for the promo code.