When the husband isn’t providing

I’d like to share a powerful example of how this work (of learning to live by Rare Faith) can impact the family. The following is shared with permission, from one of our Mindset Mastery Program participants. Wendy writes:

I would like to share a significant A-ha moment about money and marriage that has been percolating over the past year.

For 3 years I’ve been trying to turn my side-hustle hobby into one full-time, highly lucrative business. I knew I had emotional baggage around money and especially around my husband+money.

Money and Marriage has been a toxic mix for nearly 20 years now. A year ago I started working with a mindset coach for my biz but it extended into my family relationships, etc, because that’s where a lot of my baggage was centered.

Last summer I had an assignment from her to emotionally and mentally “unplug” myself from needing my husband to provide for me. Yes, that might sound obvious to some of you, but it was a deeply ingrained message from when I was a tiny girl. That message had set me up to create a co-dependent relationship with my spouse and left me feeling crippled every time I tried to create financial income for myself.

Instead I would manipulate, hen-peck, and try to “coach” my husband into being the financial fixer/savior for me and our children. It says a lot about his character that he still loves/likes me after all of that ^. *Ugh*

Anyway, shortly after that unplugging assignment I started listening to the Rare Faith podcasts, introduced my husband to them, and we both started to change.

When we joined the Mindset Mastery program I was still wrapped up in the idea that he had to make more money than me, that it was too hard and too stressful for me to be a mom and a financial provider, etc.

When I hit Modules 7, 8, 9 things started to look different. It was like I was waking up from my own life and now I saw myself, my husband, and my children as if I was a completely different person. That old story from that little girl I had been was displaced and I no longer felt those fears that were such a part of me. I finished Phase 1 with flying colors. I even achieved a significant goal because I knew I could.

When I was in Module 14 my husband hit his own terror barrier and instead of trying to “rescue” him (because I felt I had to as he was my financial life-preserver), I heard him out but asked myself: “What is my part that I should be contributing to my goal? He has his own goals. But mine are mine. So what is my part?”

I got a genius idea within 24 hours. Over the subsequent two weeks I continued working through lesson after lesson, fine-tuning my plan, working through my own terror barriers with his and my coach’s help, and saying my goal statement a zillion times.

One of the lessons in Module 17 talks about being grateful for the paper sacks. My husband has worked in the same company for a while now. I had a lot of resentment, pain, and fear around his employment because I saw them as contributing to our financial hardships. I had tried to forgive them, but it wasn’t really working. Through that Module I was able to change my vibration and become neutral about any further income from them. Instead of needing them to save me too, I unplugged myself from them, knowing that all I needed to achieve my worthy goals would come from whatever source was most efficient. I could identify and receive it from wherever God sent it.

Within 2 days of that ^^ shift, I had an experience with my husband that showed me how far my subconscious has shifted. I looked at him and instead of feeling that instinctive, gut-jerking need for him to do more and make more money, I just saw my sweetheart. There was no co-dependency or disappointment. Just affection. I no longer needed him, or his company, to provide for me.

AND within 2 days of that ^^ shift, he received a significant promotion and raise at his job that made whatever income I made in my biz unnecessary to support our family’s current lifestyle. (He can tell more details about his own “rabbit” if he chooses.)

AND (here’s the clincher guys…)
I.
DIDN’T.
NEED.
IT.

I was completely indifferent to it. I was EXCITED for him of course! Because that’s really cool for him! But I didn’t need the income to accomplish my goal.

I was already chasing my rabbit.

After thinking on this for a few days, I wonder if God has just been waiting to unleash blessings that he knew I wanted, only because I was trying to make someone else do the work for me. He knew I needed to understand this first before I could receive it without sabotaging it.

This is just really cool and I can’t thank Leslie enough for inspired teaching that helped this little girl, now grown woman, heal very old wounds that were ruining her life and her family’s.

I hope this helps someone else stick with it. Keep going through the lessons, one after another. Line upon line, our minds and hearts ARE changing. – Wendy B., Mindset Mastery Program participant

Thank you for sharing, Wendy. I’ve had similar experiences with Rare Faith (read the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to write), and what you described is a true principle in action. I’m sure there are others who have experienced the same phenomenon, and I hope they’ll share in the comments below.

______________________

Learn more about the Mindset Mastery Program here

Leslie Householder
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Leslie Householder

Leslie is the award-winning, best selling author of The Jackrabbit Factor: Why You Can, Hidden Treasures: Heaven's Astonishing Help With Your Money Matters, and Portal to Genius (all FREE downloads!). She aims to help you crush every challenge, achieve every goal, and vanquish every monster under your bed. Above all, Leslie is a dedicated wife and mother of seven children.
Leslie Householder
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